April 11, 2005
Fat Girl Liberated
I have always been the 5'4 that slides more toward the voluptuous side. I used to want to be tall and waify but in the past ten years I've come to appreciate what God gave me. My family used to have a joke about my sliding weight - they either called me Sad Skinny Girl or Happy Fat Girl. I didn't mind, it wasn't meant as an insult and I take myself pretty lightly. Plus it was true. When I became sad and depressed I would become the stocky version of skinny. When I was happy I began to store winter fat like a squirrel. These days I'm not only happy and fat but happy to be fat. For the first time in my life getting larger is looked forward to. "Get me out on the beach," I say. For once I'm not self-conscious about wearing a bathing suit. Might as well take advantage of that while I can.
The best I can do for now is lay out on my back porch and toast my stomach. I called my sister on Saturday and said, "Hey, I need to go lay out on my porch before it starts snowing." She asks me if it's cold there and I tell her, No, it feels great. But the weather is insane so you get that sun while you can. I lay out in the warm sun and an hour or so later it starts to get cold. The next day we have a blizzard. Today the sun is melting yesterday's snow storm. Pretty crazy weather for a girl originally from Florida.
I felt the baby move for the first time a little over a week ago. Hearing about it from others is one thing but experiencing it is so cool. Last month my new hobby was crying. I was good at it. This month my hobby is trying to play Morris code with our baby. He's not quite big enough for Erik to feel the kicks on the outside but I try to get him to feel them anyway. "Here, feel this," I say. The baby stops and I notice my husband is talking. "Shh, he's listening," I tell him. I'm convinced that when the baby stops kicking and we're talking it's because he stops to listen to us.
Lastly, we finally made a decision about where to have the baby. We are going to do it at home with a midwife. I appreciate my husband's support so much since he was still leaning toward to the hospital. We value your prayers for my continued health and the health of our child. It's going to be quite a journey.
Proud of you Michelle! It is a gutsy decision, but from what your midwife practice sounds like I think I'd go for it too. I'll pray that all goes smoothly!!
Posted by: katiek at April 11, 2005 04:14 PMmaybe it's just me, but I dont like it when prego ladies are called "fat." that aint fat...it's a BABY. I'm forever fighting these semantic battles, as I've worked VERY hard to improve my love's self-image.
but whatever you wanna call it, babies certainly are cute even before they arrive.
Posted by: bobw at April 11, 2005 04:21 PMMichelle you look great! praying for you and the baby!
Posted by: gwen at April 11, 2005 04:29 PMyou make me laugh. your baby is looking pretty cute. i've been taking in as much sun as possible as well, and i have a million splinters from the porch to prove it. i'm glad to see a picture or five of you because i'm missing your face.
Posted by: kelly at April 11, 2005 05:16 PMman I dunno bob I hope I'm a little fat to go along with baby. cuz I've gained 30lbs and I'm sure that ain't all baby. It takes 9 months to make a baby and another minimum of 9months to recover from having a baby. So no mama should "just feel fat". Giving birth is the best diet ever! You lose a minimum of 12lbs in the instant the baby comes out!
Posted by: katiek at April 11, 2005 09:12 PMhey shell. cute pics. your looking def preg and you are to cute! Hes getting big! How many months are you again? Maybe your baby is listening. I found this link for you! http://pregnancytoday.com/experts/fp-fetushear.htm
Posted by: melissa at April 12, 2005 03:02 AMHi sweet preggy doll !!! I love your lovely belly.. so sweet and green in those px :)
Much love to you and Erik and your little warrior from Stephen and I.. we hope to meet your family someday soon... our prayers are with you..take care of that sweet belly!!
I get what you're saying, Gypsy. I love the roundness and softness of pregnancy-- that fertile, robust feeling that you are allowed to revel in while pregnant. Enjoy it. Rub your belly. Soak up the sun. Love that God made you a woman.
Posted by: Shannon at April 12, 2005 02:49 PMRodney used to tell me that pregnant women were the most beautiful women in the world...
And ya know?
He's right...
Posted by: Vickie at April 12, 2005 07:58 PMyou look great! Healthy happy and glowing.
like everyone else, I am praying for a safe delivery. :)
You are looking gorgeous.
Bring on the bathing suit!
Posted by: Stoate at November 17, 2005 02:26 PMThere are plenty of guys who are attracted to overstuffed women, pregnant or not.
Posted by: JC at December 31, 2005 12:18 AMhi!michelle im proud of you for your decision! and you are very strength for being a mother for your baby's
Posted by: raquel at September 23, 2006 03:29 AMTotally stumbled upon your site, but it's wierd. We're actually very alike..you're just a few years ahead of me. I'm not pregnant or anything, but it's really inspiring to see what you think about it. I think pregnancy is the most beautiful thing in the entire world. I loved those drawings for that exact reasons. They glorify women in pregnancy, and I think that's awesome. kudos.
Posted by: Danielle at October 19, 2006 05:48 AM