Belly Dancer's Nightcap

Random Collage in Deutschland

Arriving

If I had been able to post an entry about how I finally got to Germany with Jack and what it took to pull it off it would have been long. My brother in-law and sister received the 11 page letter on that one. Here are some brief tidbits.

*Right before my flight to Denver in a NC airport I met Kristen from This Classical Life. I was stepping onto the elevator to walk to my gate and she stepped on with her two beautiful children. She recognized Jack and I from my blog and introduced herself. I had heard of hers and we have friends in common. What are the odds? Pretty crazy. It made the airport that I'd been dreading somehow seem friendlier.

*It was hard, just as hard as I expected but for every difficult thing that happened God matched it with a blessing.

*On the nine hour flight to Germany every single seat was taken so my hope for having a little room to spread out was dashed. My poor pregnant body was squished between a car seat and a large pastor from France the entire flight. Talk about claustrophobic. It hurt. The good part was that they played lots of great movies to take my mind off of it, served delicious food and the pastor was kind enough to hold Jack for me and stand right outside the bathroom door when I had to go so Jack wouldn't freak out.

*The worst part of the entire trip was when I was in the Frankfurt airport and couldn't find baggage claim. I followed the signs but then at one point there were no more elevators. When I tried to get help from the airport staff about finding an elevator no one could help me. I asked so many people and most of them just shrugged there shoulders and smiled at me. Most of you know I'm directionally challenged and for once it wasn't my fault. I wheeled my stroller around exhausted from getting zero sleep and bawled audibly. I wasn't even looking for help or attention at that point I just didn't know what else to do but cry. I didn't even know how to use the phones to call my husband whose cell phone number didn't make sense to me. I was invisible as I walked around crying because it was the first day of the World Cup and very crowded. My husband and I eventually found each other which was a miracle.

And it's over, thank the Lord that's over.

Since We've Arrived...

Alrighty, this is really random and there are some dull pictures just trying to show my family things like "the other toilet" but bear with me. Besides some big life changes coming up like giving birth and having a brand new kiddo I'll hopefully get caught up and the pictures will get better and more organized. So here goes...

The Square

I like the idea of having a square in a neighborhood. It brings everyone together and promotes community. Ours gets a lot of use despite the fact that it looks a bit sparse with only two pieces of playground equipment. The kids don't mind and I never hear them fighting over the few things to play on. They bring their ball over to play soccer or just use their imagination. Babies play in the sandbox and women gather on the benches to talk. I've noticed it's more common over here for people to spend a good amount of time outside - taking walks, hanging out in their yards and riding bikes.

Jack starts squealing like a monkey and yelling,"Oh!Oh!" whenever he sees the flowers on the swing. He must touch them and turn them so Erik takes him like a good Papa.

Thank the Lord for transformers

You have to either plug your things into a transformer or buy new ones that fit the European electrical outlet. Two important things we wanted to plug in right away - the coffee maker and the stereo.

must have good coffee and musik!

When in Germany...

...Grill Brats

our groovy, new picnic table with a rectangle umbrella (we thought we were getting a circle one but hey, rectangles are cool - guess that's what happens when you're shopping in a german store and you can't read everything)

Patio Daddy-O

On one of my walks...

I've only taken a few pictures of the area right around our little neighborhood. These are taken right around the corner after crossing over the rail tracks.

these last two are walking back into our neighborhood

Master Bedroom, Etc.

When we left Colorado we decided to get rid of our small amount of college looking furniture and to start fresh in Germany. The plan was to get everything we needed upon our arrival on our credit card and pay it off immediately with a chunk of money the military owes us. Then we got here and found out most businesses in Germany do not take credit card, including large franchises like Ikea. So we are buying one piece at a time as we can afford it until our chunk of money arrives in the bank account. It certainly makes us grateful for each little thing as we are needing so much and having to get it slowly. With my poor pregnant body the bed and recent chair were a huge relief.

Our new Malm king size from Ikea with the Sultan Hamno mattress (that was highly recommended by my sister Amy and she was right, it's comfy) is so much better than the blow-up mattress we were sleeping on when we first arrived.

The other side of the master bedroom - we have to buy wardrobes because there aren't any closets in the house. This is common over here.

This window is what you see when you walk in the door of the master bedroom. It looks down on the square full of children so Jack likes it when we put his pack n play in this window.

I think he's ready to get out.

This is the half bath downstairs to the left when you walk in the front door. Exciting huh?

We finally got the boxes cleared out of the living room. Now we just need some furniture.

We open these four doors every morning and its so nice with that 8 am breeze coming in. That is, until afternoon when we have to lower the metal blinds because the sun starts coming in and heating up the house.

The stairs going down in this picture lead to the basement which feels like a refridgerator. On hot days I want to just hang out down there. It's the least scary basement I've ever been in. I'm not a fan of basements. The floors are white tile, the ceiling and walls are white so also it's not a dark, creepy basement. I'm also SO grateful for our washer and dryer after using the laundry mat for two years in CO.

First Pancake Breakfast

Erik has always made blueberry pancakes, eggs and organic sausage on Saturdays. I love this tradition and I really love sitting, drinking my coffee and not having to cook.

The World Cup

We experienced our neighborhood's excitement during the World Cup since we don't watch TV. On game days people would come home early from work, kids would be running through the streets with flags, you could here horns honking for miles and when Germany scored we could hear a roar of cheering coming from the open windows of all the house around us.

a little girl spelling Deutschland with flowers in the square on a game day

Random Jack Snaps

those are Papa's eyebrows for sure

Chris Farley baby says, No pictures please.

He's pretty close to walking these days and has great balance even on the blow-up mattress.

Zoo in Koln (Cologne)

Outdoor cafe at the Zoo

Finding the monkeys with Papa

This was like the baboons with their own little city and reminded me of the monkey city in The Jungle Book.

Jack was very happy to watch them, especially when a fight would break out.

The area where the elephants came to eat was one of my favorites. The design for this building was well thought out and beautiful.

I'd never seen a baby elephant this small.

The owl cloister was enchanting. I love owls.

On the ride home we stopped for a break and let the baby drive.

What's on my fridge

*a picture of a skinny girl ripped out of a magazine with my head stuck on it to remind myself that after almost two years in maternity clothes I won't be uncomfortable forever

*a picture drawn by cousin Mason

*photos from home

*ultra sound of the new baby

*an invitation to my sister Jamie's wedding (this coming Saturday) that I'm missing out on (sniff, sniff)

*our Mama and Papa word magnets

12 more days

The swelling in my feet, ankles and calves never goes down now. Today they look like two throw pillows attached to my legs. Not much longer to go though - I'm full of relief and terrified at the same time. I guess elephant baby must exit, he can't stay in there forever.

The Baby Wants

Ok, so the baby doesn't know that he wants anything but here are a few ideas for his upcoming first birthday for family who have been asking for them. Also, if any of you out there have suggestions for me as far as learning tools, educational toys, etc. that are good for his age let me know.

Jack's Wish List

Fine Art Friday

These are two of the many paintings I love by Katie.

I can't wait to hang this painting I bought from her.

Rain Dance

So the heat here the last week or so has been unusual for Germany. Which is great timing considering the fattest girl in Germany lives here now. Yesterday as Jack and I were trying not to suffocate into a ball of flames - What? Drama Queen? No, not me. - sitting as close as we could get to a fan, I kept trying to think, "Only a few more days of this." It's supposed to cool off in a few days but when you're a pregnant buffalo it's hard to remember that. I would console myself with the thought that we couldn't die of it. As the day wore on and the heat depleted my energy my deranged, little brain began to think, "Wait a minute! Maybe we can die of this."

Just as I was thinking I can't take it much longer the most miraculous thing happened. As my husband was walking in the door from work the wind started picking up. Now I'm not talking a nice breeze baby. I'm talking wind that slams doors shut and blows Jack's hair way offa his head. Yes'mam, I'm talking thunderstorms. We opened all the doors and windows and the degrees were dropping fast. It was like a party we didn't know we were invited to. It cooled the whole house down which hasn't happened for days. Like I said, in Germany most people don't have air conditioning so if the temperature is still in the high 80's at dinnertime and drops slowly from there the fans in your room aren't going to help much when you go to bed.

We got another storm at 4 in the morning - a big one - and now it is so nice and cool. Thank you Jesus! It's amazing to me that thunder that reduces me to a two yr old hiding under my covers doesn't scare Jack. He sat up in his bed, and in a little chipmunk voice said, "Hmmm, Huh, Mmmm..." I put him in bed with us and he sat there like a sleepy, teddy bear watching the lightening.

Small things that are huge these days. Thank you, thank you...Amen!

Chocolate and Needles

Man, is that just not the cutest face?

So this is just a quick post to say that things have been hard lately, up and down but I have this wonderful baby that makes me happy. I'm so grateful for him. My husband has also been so kind and giving while I struggle with the difficulties. Briefly, I have been feeling worse with this pregnancy physically and mentally as I near my due date. Germany is also experiencing unusually bad heat for what is normal here and it just exacerbates my misery. Things are not coming together or going smoothly with us getting ready for this baby to come and it fills me with constant uneasiness. Things are also going wrong with our house and our landlords haven't been good about it so far.

At the end of a long day of having a very despairing, bad attitude I pray for the willingness in me to accept God's grace no matter what is happening.

On a lighter note when I went to my German OB today I was having a hard time holding it together. I would stare at the ceiling and try not to cry. With all that was on my mind they had also just told me my iron was very low still and they were worried. As I waited in one of the rooms I started crying. One of the nurse assistants walked in and asked with great concern if I was sick. I told her no that I was just having a bad day. She left the room and told everyone in the office. Normally, being the emotional person that I am, I don't care about crying in public but today I was embarrassed. Pretty soon another girl came in the room with a little tray full of chocolates and a drink. "We all have bad days sometimes, have some chocolate." Then my doctor came in, put her arm around me, looked at the tray of chocolates and said, "Sweets for my sweet?" It all sounded so funny in their thick German accents that I started laughing. She told me to go ahead and cry that it was good to but I was finished. Then she asked if I'd like some acupuncture and I thought, Sure, why not? So I took a little nap with needles in my head for the first time in my life. Apparently I need them. Yeah, when you cry at my doctor's office there is a good chance you'll get some good chocolate and needles. Just in case you wanted to know.

Goodnight for me now, I'll be saying Good morning when you are in bed and it will be a good morning because we all have our health and each other. Thanks be to God.

Mama can only play "Hit myself with the cereal box" so long

Jack could play it for hours

Afternoon in Frankfurt

So this is how it started, it all began with hearing from Jill. I never expected it to but this blog has blessed me and opened so many doors to wonderful things. This woman named Jill stumbled onto my blog from a mission blog she was linked to and started reading it. She had been following it for awhile when she read one day that I was moving to Germany. What are the odds of someone in Germany finding me before I arrive in a foreign country for the first time and befriending me? Pretty low I'd say but it happened. She emailed me in January and offered to answer any questions I may have and her friendship. When I moved into our house and was going through some especially lonely weeks she called and encouraged me. Then when I became very depressed she called friends in Frankfurt to connect with me because they were closer. She has been so kind and her friendship means a great deal to me. When things like this happen it is so apparent that God cares about all of these small details in my life. I didn't know I would come over here and feel overwhelmed and lonely at first but He knew.

A friend of Jill's friend in Frankfurt called me one day and asked if she could pick Jack and I up and we could spend the day with them. It was a great afternoon with the loveliest group of women. Sometimes it is just so refreshing to have other women to talk with. We had afternoon coffee and cake in a park that had a cafe. I had the best iced coffee I've ever tasted. No piddly coffee poured over ice. It had a scoop of hazelnut ice cream and a scoop of chocolate in with the espresso. Now that's what I'm talking about buddy. It was a good day.

I look forward to actually meeting Jill in person and it's nice that she lives under two hours away. For now it's good to know she's out there.

Amy (who was incredibly generous picking us up, having us in her home and sharing her family), Belbi (met us at the park and was so much fun to talk with) and Emma (a sweet Russian girl new in Germany too and due with twins soon after me)

Belbi with her beautiful baby

Jack passed out in the park after a full day of fun

Sauna Haus

Ah, still playing with the web cam and working out some kinks with getting our photos off our camera. I can't believe I haven't been posting but Tuesday was an extreme fatigue day (still having trouble with the anemia and low blood pressure) and today was so hot I was busy trying to stay cool with Jack. The weather here has been great until today - Goodnight! it was hot. Jack and I's big plans to walk to the bakery and get a naughty donut were foiled. There is still tomorrow...

Morning - trying to wake up

talking to Kelly, a rare treat this early in morning

Late morning - starting to warm up

Mama getting a contraction

Suffocating Heat - baby continues to hang out in just diaper and Mama wears a sarong

Yay! Papa comes home from work

with just the right amount of humidity you can have cool hair like Jack

After a Bath - feeling much better and Papa's making curry chicken for dinner...Mmmm, good thing someone can cook around here

While You Sleep...

It is time for this night owl with heartburn to head off to bed. It's funny to be typing to two of my sisters who are both making dinner at the same time when it is so late here. Tomorrow I'll be posting more and slowly filling you in on adventures here while you sleep but for now elephant baby and I must go catch some Zzzzs. Goodnight.

I'm Back

Ah, after two and a half months we have our computer and the DSL is up and running. It's a long story but after having to ship the computer we ordered to the States (because they wouldn't send it to Germany) and have family ship it to us (which we paid a fortune for) they stopped it in Koln (Cologne). Certain papers hadn't been filled out and they wouldn't let my husband send them - he had to go to Koln to pick it up or it would be sent back to the States. So yesterday we made a day out of it, picked up the computer and took Jack on his first zoo trip. I am so happy to have internet access! I don't think it has ever mattered more to have this blog and be able to look at family and friends blogs.

These nerdy photos are from the camera on our computer. I haven't quite figured out how to put up the pictures from our main camera so it may take a few days.

While I was working on this I got Jack out of bed because for some reason he won't sleep tonight.

You can kind of see his two new teeth here.

You'll have to endure me being a dork experimenting with the camera. It doesn't take much to entertain me these days.

Photo of elephant baby due in less than four weeks.

I'm still in shock that I have a computer - so happy, so grateful.

Quick update from Amy

Michelle called yesterday and asked me to post a quick update to thank everyone for their prayers and to let them know she is doing better. Things are still up and down but more and more things continue to go up. She thanks God for his care of her and her family and knows that He is the reason she has been feeling less depressed.

Before they moved she started emailing a woman she didn't know who lives in Germany to ask questions about life over there. They became friends and now that they are there they are planning on getting together -- she lives several hours away. Her friend invited them to her house for the weekend, at this point I'm not sure if it will work out, but Michelle was very thankful to have a friend. Also, she gave Michelle's phone # to a couple of her friends who live only 20 min. away. One of these women called Michelle and is picking her and Jack up on Monday to go hang out. Several of these people have lived there for a while and have had babies over in Germany so Michelle is looking forward to hearing their stories and getting advice. Michelle said she has been very encouraged by the prospect of friends. She said things are still hard but they are getting through, and they are glad to be there and they really like Germany.

Please continue to pray for them, especially Michelle as baby #2's due date approaches, that things will go smoothly. And also for her energy level for the day to day taking care of Jack. OH! Also, they finally got their landline which means it won't be quite so expensive to make phone calls and also they will be able to use the internet when their computer arrives. God is good. He truely cares about our every need.

the sky is falling

"She told me about a group of people in Guinea who carry the sky on their heads. They are the people of Creation. Strong, tall and mighty people who can bear anything. Their Maker, she said, gives them the sky to carry because they are strong. These people do not know who they are, but if you see a lot of trouble in your life, it is because you were chosen to carry part of the sky on your head."

- Edwidge Danticat

I don't think I was chosen to carry part of the sky because I royally stink at bearing hard things. I do however feel like things are dropping from the sky and landing on me - not randomly, once in awhile but every day. I'm glad we are here but things are currently rough. I'm sure it will get better and I'll be able to enjoy Germany but at the moment it's a difficult ride with small, happy breaks. This post is me just asking for your prayers. I know so many of you are praying out there for me and I thank you. It might help to know how I'm doing. No pretty pictures - this will be a rare entry as I have only been able to use the computer once since being here and had just enough time to send my sister pictures.

I am having a very, very bad day - there are a lot of these. I go up and down and dip pretty far down into despair. The idea of moving here is very different from the reality. The reality isn't bad or disappointing necessarily, it's just different. I don't even have time to really let you know what is going on but here is a quick stream of thought...

I feel VERY remote...i have little communication...calls are very expensive for us and those calling because we still don't have a ground line...apparently it will take two or more weeks to even get a ground line even though our computer will probably arrive this weekend and I've been waiting forever for that piece of equipment that will allow me to communicate without paying a fortune among other things and let me write people since i can't even call anyone until 2 in the afternoon...everything takes a really long time here...i am learning patience but i still could never have enough for everything that is happening...everything is difficult to get - doctor's appointments, prescriptions, etc. ...i went many days without my asthma drug before finally getting relief...my pregnancy is killing me right now...my iron is very low and so is my blood pressure...I've been trying to get some iron since I arrived...I still don't have any...i can't spell worth a lick and i won't have time to check this spelling...we are having a difficult time figuring out the transportation system (bus, train) and have little time to even do so because my husband is having to work so much...i have lost all of my freedom and have no way of getting around...i still don't know a single soul in my area and learning German is going very slow...most days I don't even have the energy to take a walk let alone watch Jack for 10 to 17 hours alone...i don't understand anything here, not even my own Mutter Pass (mother pass) which has all of my pregnancy information in it...I've been trying to read it for days with a dictionary (I seriously doubt they are talking about a "slight octopus" on the cardio - something section)...there is never enough time in my appointments to ask for help, i'm usually too busy trying to ask other questions and not always getting answers...i'm feeling extreme dread about taking care of two babies...every day I'm getting contractions, not sleeping through the night and on the verge of anxiety attacks all day long...lots of deep breaths and crying...this is the worst the feeling of anxiety and not being able to get enough air has ever been - it makes me sick and scares me...

there are many blessings too and things to be grateful for but right now i am very low, so low that i don't even want to get up tomorrow and it's still today...that is how you can pray for me right now

thank you for being out there friends